Bring Back the Bedford

When celebrations make a side look worse, the danger of snark, and why a return to spontaneity would be a refreshing change.

I’m very conscious of the danger of becoming a grumpy old man. I’m also conscious that to an extent the tense is wrong and part of my shtick is being a grumpy old man. But there’s a difference between being vaguely nostalgic and having a healthy scepticism about new developments and become a reactionary who despises all modern developments in football simply because they are modern. I’m also extremely conscious of the dangers of becoming part of celebration police. And yet…

This isn’t really about policing how people behave when they’re celebrating. Within reason, do what you want. Nor is it about circumscribing when teams celebrate. You’ve won a hard-fought FA Cup fourth-round tie? Great; take your lap of honour. God knows the world is hard enough and miserable enough without sneering at people for being happy. And yet…

My problem is what a celebration says and the impact that can then have. When I played hockey at school, we were always told by our coach to celebrate goals because research suggested that doing so emphasised superiority, made the side who had conceded really feel their subjection. As far as I’m aware, that remains the orthodoxy, to the extent that players are encouraged to celebrate scoring in shoot-outs; relief suggests a lack of conviction. My issue is with celebrations that do the opposite, celebrations that make the side that has scored the goal seem weak.